The Many Thoughts of Wanda Kidd

Reclaiming Honest Conversations about Love and Truth

You’ve probably heard them — phrases that sound like answers, but are designed to end the conversation.

“It’s just business.”
“It was just a joke.”
“I thought you had better judgment.”

These quick taglines aren’t explanations — they’re exits. And they silence the deeper questions — especially the ones that confront injustice or emotional harm.

Throughout my years working with young adults, I encountered many struggling with relational and spiritual betrayal. I often witnessed faith being weaponized. It was misused to require silence and compliance. In their theology, Jesus is edified by the stories where he turns over tables or shows anger. He is not edified when he shows compassion or grace. He is also never edified when He leaves the answer to the listener.

The Spiritual Cost of Shutting Down Hard Questions

Those hard questions are a holy invitation. But many Christians treat them like threats. When people say things like, “The Bible is clear,” or “You have been misled,” it often masks fear, not faith. There is no place for non-absolutes.

Jesus never silenced the sincere. He gave space and attention to people in pursuit of the truth. When we shut down hard questions, we also shut down growth. We hinder healing. We close off relationships. These are at the heart of Jesus’ gospel.

Loving Faithfully Without Losing Yourself

As a campus minister, I worked with young women and men who had been led to believe that enduring mistreatment made them more godly. They stayed silent, thinking that was what Jesus expected.

Repeatedly, I told them God does not ask you to become less of who you are to prove your love. I stopped arguing about Paul’s demeaning words to women and instead pointed to Galatians:

“It is for freedom that Christ has set us free.” (Galatians 5:1)
“There is no longer male or female, for you are all one in Christ Jesus.” (Galatians 3:28)

We also returned to 1 Corinthians 13:
“Love is patient. Love is kind. It does not disrespect others. It keeps no record of wrongs.”

If God is love, then God is also patient, kind, and not keeping score.

Speaking Truth in Love: What Real Conversations Require

Spiritual maturity is not about having the right answers — it’s about being present in hard conversations. Real love doesn’t silence people. It uses an open heart. We must do the same — with humility, bravery, and wisdom.

Don’t Let Deflection Have the Final Word

If someone uses God’s name to silence your pain or questions, that was not from God.

You are a Beloved Child of God. You matter.  Your gifts have value, and your questions are holy. Just as importantly, your healing is a sacred process.

Let love speak louder. Let healing run deeper. And let the faithful Jesus of hope get the final word. We owe that to ourselves and all the people who loved us. They mentored and called us to be brave. They cheered for us even when it seemed hopeless.